Is that Ex Ex Ex Gay or Ex Ex Straight?

“Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”
(James 1:12 NASB)

I accept the label Ex Ex Ex Gay (or Ex Ex Straight) because:

I was gay (homosexual KS-5): high school – questioning why everyone called me gay and researched what that meant – it led to same sex attraction that wasn’t there naturally but it seemed the only route because girls wouldn’t date me, and everyone else must know what I am, even if I don’t, and other brokenness lead me to lose my masculine identity.

Then I was heterosexual (Ex Gay KS-2): College – I was an evangelist and traveled doing ministry in the Midwest and I agreed I would not give into latent same sex attractions and instead live as a celibate single as the ministry lifestyle required. Post College – unsure about the same sex attraction I was ignoring and frustrated by I redirected my attention to women and had relationships with them instead.

Then I was gay (Ex Straight Gay or Ex Ex Gay KS-6): spent time with gay friends even though I identified as “straight”.  That lead to (not caused by) experimenting with the latent unaddressed same sex attractions resulting in an intimate relationship with a guy and eventually sex with a lot of guys. Confirmed same sex attraction was real. No relationships with women.  Conflict with my faith remained.  I gave up thinking about attraction to women hence KS-6.

And now I am heterosexual (Ex Ex Ex Gay, or Ex Ex Straight KS-0): Met my wife while I was dating a guy.  God reconciled my sexuality, my sexual identity and my sexual orientation by addressing my brokenness.  Jesus healed those broken places and restored my masculine identity that God created me to have as a biological male. Jesus loved me while I struggled through this journey. He lead me to holiness, righteousness, and through his mercy and by his Grace, set me free from the chains that bound me to the lies of the enemy of my soul which would have otherwise brought me to the gates of hell.  Staying in God’s grace has provided me a reconciled faith and sexual identity.

Don’t give up.  Keep seeking!

#gay #straight #exgay #exstraight #exexgay #exexstraight #exexexgay

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NIV)

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.”
(James 1:5, 14-16 NASB)

 

#nationalcomingoutday #ncod #countmeout #jesus #married #out

Update: Added Kinsey Scale scores to clarify the fluidity I’ve experienced in sexual attractions.  Clearly there would be transition time between each major life chapter with the score numbers changing gradually as well.  Analog experience, not digital.  Things didn’t flip from one number to the next suddenly, they transitioned gradually.

Clarifying update: “EX-GAY” doesn’t define me, it explains the journey I’ve been on while seeking Jesus. “Christian” defines me, being a disciple of Jesus defines me.